Coward
by blondie60669
Summary: I'd never have believed this, the man who taught me to fight dementors--a coward." Remus Lupin had never considered himself a coward until the words were said. And now all he could think of was Nymphadora Tonks.


**A/N- Okay so I got the inspiration for this after reading the chapter from the seventh book when Lupin tells the Golden Trio about the pregnancy. I love the Remus/Tonks relationship and felt kind of jipped out of their story. So...I wrote this as a kind of filler for what happens after Lupin is called a coward and returns to Tonks. Tell me what you think! =) **

**Remus Lupin**

Coward.

Remus Lupin was _not_ a coward. He was strong and fast. Smart and witty. Werewolf and wizard. The brightest witch in all of his classes at Hogwarts, Remus Lupin would like to consider himself a brave individual. Maybe not as brash as James Potter, or as smooth as Sirius Black, or even as tormented as Peter Pettigrew but he had the strongest burden to bear. And although he was haunted by every full moon, he breathed in deep and faced the fire.

The now more aged wizard trudged through the thick grass. His head reeling with the night's events. He had suspected the trio to be rejoiced with his eagerness to assist in their journey. He was, by far, more experienced than the three combined. But Harry, so much like his father in those last minutes together, saw through Remus' well-pieced façade.

_"I'm pretty sure my father would have wanted to know why you aren't sticking with your own kid, actually._

_...I'd be pretty ashamed of him._

_My father died trying to protect my mother and me, and you reckon he'd tell you to abandon your kid to go on an adventure with us?_

_I'd never have believed this. The man who taught me to fight dementors--a coward."_

Remus very seldom lost control, but at the words uttered from Harry he blanked completely. Pulling his wand faster than his reflexes should have allowed. And as he walked through the halls out of the Black Mansion it occurred to him that maybe he hadn't made the wisest choice shooting Harry back into a wall, but all was forgotten when he Apparated into the forest through which to get to the Tonk's cabin.

The wind whistled around him, ruffling his graying hair. He breathed in the scent of pine and pure air. He enjoyed the crunch of twigs beneath his feet. But even nature couldn't quiet his racing thoughts. Remus had never considered himself a coward. A monster, yes, but never a coward. But perhaps he was acting as one.

When Nymphadora had told him the news of her pregnancy, Remus had immediately lost himself in a deep mug of firewhisky. Every burn through his throat eased his struggles. That's what he needed now--something to make the pain go away. What would his child end up as? Surely a werewolf couldn't breed properly. It could die before the birth. Or turn into a deformed creature. At best he would be a normal wizard shamed by his father's condition. Better than having no father.

The last thought sounded in Remus' head with a voice like Harry's. Echoing in the boundaries of his skull. As painful as it was for Remus to admit it, a mutated father was better than none. Seeing Harry as an orphaned child, pained by the loss of his parents, Remus could not imagine ever doing that to something so innocent and precious on purpose.

Before even fully processing his plan of action he felt himself plunge into a sprint. The power in his legs held no hint of his age as they hurled themselves over low-lying branches and rocks pushing as fast as he could go. He didn't stop until he lunged through the cabin door, his chest heaving with Nymphadora's wand pointing in his face menacingly. It took a second before she realized who he was and lowered her wand, her expression unchanged.

"You're back." Her voice is soft and Remus could feel his chest ripping itself open with the pain laced into her normally cheerful tones.

He fell to his knees in front of her a dry sob escaping his lips as he wrapped his arms around her thin hips, clutching her with all he had. Her fingers instantly entangled in his hair, gently massaging his scalp and with it massaging away his anxiety. He pressed his face into her stomach softly, feeling a life behind the skin. Real tears were falling down his face as he looked up into her eyes.

She seemed to glow from within. Her hair gradually returning to the bubble-gum pink it was normally, instead of a mournful black. Her bright eyes shining with tears of her own. And her lips curved delicately into a sad smile. Remus put his hand on her stomach, slowly, never taking his eyes off hers as he stood. His long fingers sprawling over the now slightly curved surface, enjoying the warmth emitting from her.

"I'm sorry this happened." She whispered covering her face with her hands and shaking her head lightly.

"No." His voice was stern as his finger laced around her wrists lightly pulling them away from her face so he could properly see her.

She looked up at him, her eyes questioning. Holding both of her small hands in one of his he used the other to gently cup her cheek, tracing circles with the pad of his thumb. She leaned into his touch and he could see her softening with every stroke.

"Don't be sorry." He whispered pulling his face closer, there noses brushing. "This is a blessing."

Remus slowly pressed his lips to hers, relishing the taste as she responded eagerly. He felt her hands escape his grasp to wrap her thin arms around his waist pulling him closer, like always trying to take control of the situation as she deepened the kiss. He pulled away chuckling at the growl she emitted deep from within her throat.

"I love you." He murmured against her skin as his lips traveled down her jaw nipping softly at the flesh at the base of her throat.

"I love you too, dear." He could feel her smile as she said the words, her hands finding there way up his chest and to the back of his head pulling him up from his escapade down her neck to look back at her face. "But don't you ever do that again."

"Promise." He responded, his voice clear for the first time that night. Their lips singed together again and Remus vaguely felt sorry for blasting Harry into a wall.

But after all, Remus Lupin was not a coward.


End file.
